Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
