can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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