youre lurking in front of me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
