jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I forget how to act sober
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
