Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
