did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
