Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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