Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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