I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Drake has all the answers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
