Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
