i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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