If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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