Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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