speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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