i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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