I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
