We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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