found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
