thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
