Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
