The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
