Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
