He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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