there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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