I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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