A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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