So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize