You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
