Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
