there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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