sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
