So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
