u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
