then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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