WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
