I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
