We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
