Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
