you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
