I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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