I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
