You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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