I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
