i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
