I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
