I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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