so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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