It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
