I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize