It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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