I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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