we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?