I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.