i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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