oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize