worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
